Hold Me

I was lying on a plank of wood
a residue from a sunken ship
in the middle of sea, the middle of nowhere
tried hard to reach out my hand
at the cost of sinking deep
i could sink a thousand feet deep

so i call you
and you answer
in my deepest need

i need you to hold me
hold me
would you please hold me?
I love you, i need you
more than anything
i need you to hold me

my prayers ricocheted
against the gray sky
i could shout and the echo would come back
not even a pin-hole
was open in the sky
to let a single raindrop fall

so i call you
and you answer
in my deepest need

My Birthday Wish-List

Exactly one month from now, I’ll be turning 21. I am so excited for no apparent reason. So I thought I’d write out a list of the gifts I expect on that day. You see, I’ve realised that birthdays are no longer what they used to be a few years ago. We no longer have time for parties or cards. All we get are messages on Facebook. So I guess that will be the first thing on my list.

So here’s the list:

• Lots and lots of birthday wishes on Facebook
• A bottle of dry white wine, either South African or Italian
• A bottle of brandy or sherry
• A phone I can use to read pdf documents
• A charcoal grill or braai
• Chocolate balls from Uchumi supermarket
• Oreos
• Airtime
• Lots of money (contact me for my bank account number)
• A high quality chef’s knife
• I don’t know what else

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I can’t wait for 18^th October to come!

Why I Am A Christian

Yesterday a friend of mine expressed his concern for me on Facebook, that I was leaving my faith in Christ. Here is how he stated it:

My dear brother Paul Kisakye, I can't help it but noticed your relentless harassment towards the body of Christ through your posts lately.

First you defy Paul's warning against being buddies with non believers (what do righteousness and darkness have in common? 2 Corinthians 6:15)

Then you blatantly deny the existence of hell (as if sinners won't be punished after enjoying the pleasures of the world and satisfied the desires of their flesh when believers are giving them up for the rewards from their sky daddy.) The scripture is pretty clear ((Daniel 12:2,3; Matthew 25:46; John 5:28; Revelation 20:14,15)

Now this lugezigezi of mbu subjecting things to reason (as if the bible is not enough), defending abominable acts like homosexuality. It's not clear anymore in whose base you've set camp. I worry you may be derailing off your course, if you're not careful, you may be booking yourself a spot next to me in that place where there'll be weeping and gnashing of teeth (Mathew 13:50)

 

Well, as fate would have it, the post garnered 42 comments from a mixture of atheists, agnostics and Christians, like me.

It came as a shock to me that I had slipped so far from my childhood Christian beliefs so much that other people were noticing! I like keeping a low profile, so at first I thought I should come out and clear my name so that I can stay in the good books of some of my Christian friends. Then I thought, to hell with them! I choose my own spiritual path.

But that doesn’t mean that his observation didn’t make me question some of my beliefs. I asked myself whether I was still Christian. My conscience told me that I was still treading the straight and narrow. I actually remembered that I can’t leave it, however much I wanted, simply because nothing can separate me from God’s love for me. He loves me anyway and nothing will change that.

On further examination of my heart, I realised that what had actually changed was my definition of “Christian.” I am no longer defined by my theological stand on “Christian” issues like homosexuality, abortion, hell, heaven, etc. All that matters to me now is Christ. All other things are bull shit (see Philippians 3:7-9)

I no longer give a rip about whether I am right or wrong. Who cares if I know all the right doctrines, or if I can quote chunks of scripture, if I can’t love my neighbour?

So yes, I am still a Christian, because I have encountered Christ. There has been a radical change in my life that I can’t account to any effort on my own. I have seen things that have no other explanation apart from the miraculous hand of God. I am convinced beyond a shadow of doubt that there is a God who loves me more than I’ll ever comprehend.

One thing makes sense to me now: Christ. All other things pale in comparison to his love, grace and reality. So I’d rather have Christ than anything else. And I guess that’s what makes me a Christian.

My dear friend, who was worried about me, rest easy. A lot of stuff may be happening to me right now, causing me to change my theology. But one thing will never change: Christ.